Meu macaquinho. S2
anal sneezes are cute as shit
sorry iphone the word i was looking for was “animal” sneezes better luck next time
this is not what i want to be remembered for
How I ended up caring for a bat
So my best friend and I were walking back from the post office and were cutting through the oldest area of our university, the Humanities Department. As we’re walking, this girl—high as a kite—points to the bushes and says:
“There’s a bat”.
We look at each other, and I’m thinking: “…But it’s day time” (Although a rainy and cold day). But through giggles and trippiness, this girl keeps pointing and tries to convince us there is a dying bat next to her. We walk toward her and, lo and behold, a bat about 6 inches big is lying face down, hardly breathing. “Is it dead?” I ask and she makes the gesture she was poking it with her shoe, saying he was alive. “Stop that,” I tell her, “bats carry a lot of diseases and it can bite you; might have rabies.” I take out a cardboard box I got at the post office and I try to grab the little guy but it falls into the bushes, flapping about but giving up almost instantly. She asks me how we’re going to grab it, and I tell her I’d need gloves.
I think about it, and I realize: you know, condoms ARE stretchy and thick. Use what you have, it’s for the sake of the bat.
Fuck it.
OMG COSMO YOU’RE SO COOL! AND THE LITLLE BAT IS PRECIOUS OK
